This was the question I keep reiterating inside my head day before my review in ReSA started. The pain of failing the first time taking the BLECPA still lingering inside. The doubt was slowly consuming all the fights that were left in me.
“Why am I so stubborn?” – is it not yet enough to prove that I am not good considering I fail the first CPALE?
“Why am I not yet working?” – Am I so stupid wasting my parents’ hard-earned money in something uncertain?
“Why can I not admit to myself that I am not meant for the title?” – …because I have still a lot to give.
It slowly dawned on me – My reason.
“Why am I still here?” – Because I have dreams.
“Why?” – Because I am not selfish. I want my parents, my siblings and those who believe in me to be happy. I want my parents to travel the world. I want them to feel how it is like to be a King and Queen, not worrying what to eat tomorrow or where to find money for the overdue bills or to travel the place aside from our house where they are familiar with, in London (loan dito, loan doon).
I imagined myself being on that prestige situation and wrote it down in a simple phrase – “Ma, Pa. CPA NA AK!” I posted it in a wall where I can see it every day.
Every time, I wanted to lose the fight because of the stairs of ReSA (ReSApeps will agree to this). Every time, I wanted to yield to temptation of earning salary and help my parents. Every time, I wanted to give in because of doubts. One glance of the paper I posted on the wall, one glance of my reason why I was doing it – all of the struggles, temptations, and doubts had been slowly stripped away.
Then the most awaited day came – result day. I decided not to think of it; normal day, normal life, nothing special, but it’s hard to do it when your parents and siblings keep asking you “may result na?” “may result na?” (Pressure. Haha). I just prayed to God that whatever the result may be, I hope that He will give me the courage to see the bright side of it. Night came, no result. I decided to hit the hay and ignore my fate for a moment.
9:00 PM when I was awaken by a phone call coming from a friend “Bzzzt! Bzzt!” – bad reception. I didn’t understand a word she’s saying so I hang up and decided to catch some z’s again. Moment later, I realized that maybe she was informing me of my rotten luck because she should’ve called again or my sisters would have gone crazy if I passed the CPA board. With mist in my eyes, I enabled my mobile data to confirm my fears and inflict pain upon myself but seconds after enabling my data I was greeted by my Messenger application going wild from messages – “CONGRATULATIONS! CPA KA NA!”
When I informed my sisters, they were shouting and laughing and going crazy, they looked happier than I was. We called my parents and sure my achievement brought felicity to them but I haven’t got a chance to talk to my father because he was too busy informing our neighbors and relatives that he already has a CPA son. Witnessing all that, everything was in slow motion, I was just listening to their laughter and told myself “I can live with this forever. Seeing them happy”
Getting the CPA title is not a bragging right. Remember that not everything is about you. It’s not a show-off of intelligence. It’s not about proving the world what you can do. It’s about giving back. Giving back to your parents who worked hard so you could be on the position where you are right now and most especially giving back all the Glory to God.
To all CPA aspirants out there, just like as I was. Please imagine all those times your parents were so proud of you, imagine all their big laughs, their tears of joy. Now, double their happiness in your imagination. Hold that thought. This is now the perfect time to give back to all their sacrifices.
“Will you make your parents proud?”
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