To achieve your personal best, to reach unparalleled heights, to make the impossible possible, you can’t fear failure, you must think big, and you have to push yourself.
It’s been a long journey for me before I was able to put that three letter- CPA before my name. It’s an ups and down battle. Maraming beses din akong umiyak dahil lang sa bagsak ako. Yes, I failed many times but every failure that I have experienced, I learned lessons and I became stronger. Never did I think to give up, never kong tinake na ‘yong mga failure na ‘yon ay dahil sa hindi ko talaga deserve or hindi ko kaya but I embraced those failures as part of my growth. Maybe, it was not yet my time. Maybe, I was lacking some effort. Kaya no’ng last take ko bago ako nakapasa, I made sure that that exam would be the last. Sinabi ko na sa sarili ko na last take ko na ‘yon kasi papasa na ako. Kaya lahat ginawa ko na, binigay ko na ang full time and effort ko kasi ayoko nang maranasang umiyak ulit dahil lang sa bumagsak ulit ako. I sacrificed all those unnecessary things I tend to do before, including social media, iwas sa gala at siyempre, mas nilaliman ko pa ang relationship with God. Mas nagtiwala ako sa Kaniya at pinanghawakan ko ang pangako Niya sa akin na better future.
Sobrang hirap no’ng unang mga buwan na nagsimula na ‘yong review, it was November at nagwo-work pa din ako sa Ilocos at ‘yong review ko ay every weekend dito sa Manila. Ayoko pa noon na mag-resign kasi siyempre, saan ko kukunin yung gagagastusin ko kaya nagtiis ako – bibiyahe ako ng gabi ng Friday tapos makakarating ako ng madaling araw sa Manila, at papasok na, pagod sa biyahe, bangag pero kailangan kong kayanin kasi gusto kong maging CPA. At babalik na naman ako ng Ilocos pagkatapos ng review ko ng Sunday, at papasok na agad ako sa work ng Monday. Sobrang nakakapagod talaga pero kinaya ko hanggang December pero siyempre, sinabi ko na din naman sa sarili ko na I should know my priorities, kung ano ba talaga mas gusto ko, ang pumasa o yung magwork pa ako. I have to think a million times kasi sobrang laki ng epekto ng magiging desisyon ko kung sakali, which is which kumbaga, pero syempre, inisip ko na din naman na mas magkakaroon ako ng better opportunities once I passed the CPA Board exam, so I sacrificed my job. I believed that there would be more doors to open after it. I just need to focus on what I really want to achieve. It’s only January no’ng nag-resign na ako at talagang nag-full time na ako sa review. “This is it,” I said. The battle has begun and I have to stay focused and be motivated. Pero kahit sobrang focused na ako, may mga bagay pa rin na hindi ko inaasahang mangyari, na susubukin talaga ang patience ko at kung paano pa rin ako para sa pangarap ko kahit na parang ang labo na ng sitwasyon. It was in April, one month before the exam, nagkasakit ako. Naiyak na ako noon kasi nga, kung kailan malapit na ang exam doon pa ako magkakasakit, ‘Yong sampung araw bang wala akong review kasi bawal daw at mabibinat ako, and at that time, I questioned God, why did He allow that to happen. Alam naman Niyang kailangan kong mag-review at marami pa kong hindi naaral. Sobrang naiiyak na ako but then I realized that I was exhausted, kaya siguro hinayaan na lang Niya na magkasakit ako kasi it was His way of reminding me, “Anak, kailangan mong magpahinga”. ‘Yon lang siguro ‘yong nakita Niyang paraan para lang maipahinga ko na sarili ko kasi sobrang pressured na ako. And I thank God, dahil doon, nakapag-relax at nakapagpahinga at nakatulog ako kahit papaano at nakaipon ng mas maraming lakas kasi mas malaking battle pa talaga ang kakaharapin ko. God is my strength, my refuge, so what shall I fear. Siya ang pinanghawakan ko, nagtiwala ako na hindi Niya ako iiwan. Iba kasi ang nagagawa ng pagtitiwala sa Kaniya. He put everything into place. He’s in control of everything, He knows what will happen next, and He knows what is best for us.
I don’t deny that I’m not a first taker, but what matters most is that I became a CPA, maybe not in my timeline, but in God’s perfect time. I don’t give up to the promises of the Lord that there is a better future awaiting for me, na kahit mahuli man akong pumasa, doon pa rin ang patutunguhan ko. Tiwala lang talaga sa Kaniya, ‘yon ang pinakamahalagang baunin sa review and at the day of exam. Mahalaga din na baon mo ang self-confidence mo, ang tiwala mo sa iyong sarili na kaya mo, na papasa ka, you should not entertain negative thoughts na hindi mo kaya, na hindi ka papasa kasi the more you think of negativity, mas lalo silang lalapit sa ‘yo kaya dapat sa umpisa palang ng review, i-claim mo na na papasa ka kasi kung makikita naman ni Lord na desereve mo ‘yon at alam na Niyang kaya mo nang hawakan ang titulo mo, hindi Niya ‘yon ipagkakait sa iyo, hindi Niya hahayaan na mabigo ka pa at masaktan. He knows what’s the best for us, we only need to trust His plans, His ways, masu-surprie na lang tayo, one day, CPA na pala tayo. Amazing God.
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